Paddle Through!

The river was angry that day, like an old man returning soup in a diner. Well not really, just one part. And it was angry like a Mother with bad kids and she beat the hell out of some of us. But that's for later. First we have to get there.

Up and out at 7:15am on Saturday morning, then on to the next stop to pick up 2 more. There almost wasn't enough room for all of us and gear in the Jetta, but we made it work. The ride up was quicker than we thought, so we were there nice and early and had plenty of time to get ready. Others in our group took longer to arrive, but we still all made the second round of buses to get to the dropoff point. We only took the stuff we needed for the river with us, while they company running the show packed our gear into moving trucks to have it waiting for us when we reached the endpoint of the rafting for the first day.

The rafts were canoe-style, but made out of tough, inflated rubber. And instead of sitting on seats, you sat on the bottom of the boat with your back against what looked like the seat. After instruction and orientation we strapped on our lifevests, grabbed hold of our paddles and hit the river. It was only moments before the first of our group capsized. The rapids were fun but rough. They tossed you around and made you sit up and take notice. But the key was to just paddle hard through the rapids and not let the water take you wherever it wanted. Cause if you let it do that, it would take you out in no time. My friend Heather and I worked hard through the rough parts cheering each other on and pushing hard against the water. Another key to not-capsizing was being smart about your weight. You had to shift and move as the water pushed and tugged, and getting your butt up in the air a little bit was key to preventing the ole rock-up-the-ass.

There was about 20 of us in our group, but the company took well over 100 people down the river. Could have even been 200 or more. Out on the river we stopped a lot to shotgun beers and chill and the day was hot and sunny. The water felt great even though it was rather chilly. Each of the rapids were a new challenge and it was exhilirating to race through those churning waters. It was near the end of the day that we truly tested.

The Mother was waiting for us. It's the Mother because it's a F*cker, and escaping unscathed from that portion of the trip is no easy feat. As we got close there were guides on rocks and to the sides telling us where to go. First to the left, then to the right, then right down the middle they directed us, but following their instructions was anything but easy. We shot into the frothing mix and right away a huge wave crashed into us from the side. Water filled the raft, but it was draining out just as quickly through the self-bailing bottom. It had, however, sent both Heather and I into contorted positions as we tried to compensate. Both legs, and my right asscheek was out of the boat as the water came pouring in, and I could see that Heather was in trouble, too. In my right hand I had my paddle and my left scrabbled for purchase on the slippery rubber. I was going in, I could feel it and I did not want that to happen. I dug deep, I let out a guttural moan of determination and I forced myself to lay back and roll in and to keep on going. We needed to get out of there immediately so with my paddle in my right hand I swung it towards my left hand, hard so I could get a solid grasp on it and shove us down the current fast and hard. But I missed. Instead of catching the top handle of the paddle with my left hand, I smacked myself soundly on the forehead. I really could not have hit myself any harder if I had tried. And in the middle of these rapids I could not help but think, "great, that's all I needed, a smack in the head." I nearly saw stars. But I kept focus and so did Heather and with a shout of glee and relief we blasted through the Mother and came out still afloat and mostly uninjured on the other side.

That whole Mother-effing part took all of ten seconds, but it set my heart racing, and with good reason. As we got out of the rapids, there was a man groaning in the river as he tried to swim, so we rowed over to him and helped him to the shore. Later on we found out that that guy had shattered his kneecap. We knew that because another in our group capsized in The Mother and he was raked across some rocks. It put a huge gash in his shin which required 22 stitches. While at the hospital he saw the guy we'd helped off the river who now had a summer ruined by the cast that was going to be applied to his leg and knee. Many others in our group dumped at that point, but luckily no one else got hurt.

Eventually we reached the pullout point and it was a relief to finally put the paddles down. My arms were sore! Our gear was spread out on the grass for us, so we found everything and then set up camp. They served us margaritas and snacks around 5pm, and then dinner was at 7:30pm. Steak, chicken or a veggie puck, with delicious corn and a 1lb baked potato on the side filled me up right. We all hung out long after quiet hours and of course had to be asked a few times to make it softer, softer and softer still till I was the only one out there nodding off in the chair before finally draggin my ass up and heading off to bed. Sleep was deep, but short, because we were up at 6am the next day for another ride on the river.

I had no idea, though, of the busride we would have to take the next day to reach the drop-in point. That was an adventure in and of itself, and I'll tell you all about it tomorrow. Just let me say this, it was a ride that sad tales of tragic accidents are made of. I'm convinced Otto was up there at the wheel.