Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Unbelizeable

Take me home, country roads

To a place I belong

West Virginia, mountain momma

Take me home, country roads


I kicked off my week in Belize the right way by partying in Hoboken with good friends and hot women. I stumbled out of the Green Rock around 2:15 to grab my things and hop in a cab to Newark Airport at 3:30. The 5am flight was sneaking up quicker than I anticipated.

We all met in Belize City and headed to the little airport bar in hopes of throwing a few back to soften up the puddle jumper we were about to get in to take us to Placencia. I flew shot gun –an experience made much more bearable by the two nasty rum punches I drank before we took off. As the plane lifted Learning To Fly started playing in my head.


Into the distance, a ribbon of black

Stretched to the point of no turning back.


It was pretty sick. The short runway ended at the water with the plane lifting at the last second. No computers, no fancy screens – just a bunch of odometer looking things. And I'm positive that none of them worked. Lucky for us it started pouring…

The house was awesome and just as pictured. Two kitchens, four bedrooms, two decks, a great pool and a private beach. The empty crates of Lighthouse Lager stacked up faster than we could empty them into the cooler.

What I appreciated the most was the freedom to wake to the crashing sounds of the clear waters just feet from our deck. Each day I walked into the ocean, even if just for a splash, just because I could. When you've run into some things as I have in life you tend to do more stuff just because you can.


Take me home, Banana Lance

To a place where I can swim

Take a shower and drink a beer

Take me home, Banana Lance


Veronik and Lance were fantastic. They were a cross between travel agent and tour guide. If we needed info, they'd have it for us. If we needed a ride, they'd find one. Beer, no problem. The best was the ride home from zip lining and cave tubing when Lance decided to run some errands.

The drive to the caves was about 2-2.5 hours long with what seemed like 75% bumpy dirt roads – and I stress bumpy. Once there they gave us a miner's light for our head, an old school black rubber tube and lead us to fresh waters and dark caves where we'd float carelessly through changing depths of light rapids…butts up!

Zip lining was much more of a challenge for everyone mainly because of our innate fear of heights. We stood on manmade platforms drilled into GIANT trees in the rainforest. Two cables, one above the other, connected the platforms and provided the path for us to glide on. We wore jacked up tool belts that strapped around our legs and waste. Three hooks, one for each cable and a safety, were the only things securing us from the forest floor below. Six platforms, six zips, and we ended by repelling down from the last of the giant trees we'd land on.

Back in the car for the two hour ride when Lance decided to stop off for some fruit, which wasn't so bad seeing that he came back with fresh pineapple and mangerines for everyone. Mangerines – you're thinking a mango tangerine, right? Nope – it's a mix of orange and tangerine…yeah, I know. Basically it was a giant sized thick skinned orange with a tangerine taste…or would it just be a giant tangerine? Refreshing, thanks Lance, now take me home please.

Suddenly we're pulling up to a banana factory where guys are standing in a line cleaning and boxing bananas as Lance explains how the factory runs. This is great but why the hell are we here? Minutes later he appears carrying bright green bananas still on their stem. They must've beeen four feet long and heavy enough for two people to carry. It turns out these were defects (which looked perfectly fine) but would be thrown out instead of boxed and shipped to England.


Take me home, Banana Lance


You get the idea.

The one downfall of the trip was the bugs. Sand bugs, air bugs, day bugs, night bugs – it didn't matter. By the end of the week my arms and legs looked like an eight year old with chicken pox. It wasn't pretty.

Potato Tom

That's What Michael Vick Said

Tantastic

CANNON BALL!


And the week fell to an intense game of West Cast versus East Coast Flip the Cup which ended with talking burps, belling rubbing, and a tremendous amount of trash talking…a perfect way to end the trip.

1 Comments:

Blogger goooooood girl said...

your blog is feel good......

5:09 PM  

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