The Way I Love It

It happened so long ago I can barely remember. I must have learned about red and blue separately first. 'Cause they're all primary and shit. But when they come together, it's beautiful.

Like I said, it started early. They tried to steer me away from it. I had a lot of red sweaters. Don't get me wrong - I like red, but it's just not purple enough for me.

Lavender. Plum. Orchid. Violet. Grape. Hmmmmm. So loving, so full of life.

When I was three and Maura was born, my mom decided to redecorate our rooms. My nana owned a home furnishings store in town called the Nettle Creek shop. The store wasn't doing so well, so mom decided to help out by buying wallpaper and bedding and stuff. But they didn't have any purple. It was this maroon sort of cranberry. I asked if it could be any more purple but it couldn't. Maybe they were pissed, because I can still feel the guilt from that request. The wallpaper stayed really dark but after a few years, the patchwork blanket faded from the sun and turned purple for a while. Now it's just a dusty rose. Parts of it are faded almost white... I still have it.

I can remember them talking about me in the store. I must have been five because mom was pregnant with Colleen. They were all talking about me and purple. Was it always going to be this way? I was so bored and I was playing with a thing that I later found out was a toothbrush holder, like a green marbled pattern. There was a soap dish that matched it and a whole bunch of other ugly things, too. I didn't know why anyone needed all those things anyway and nobody ever bought them. Mom said not to tell nana she said so but that they were way overpriced.

She said that's why they had to close the Nettle Creek shop. Funny I could have sworn it was because there was no purple in sight, and when I became a grown-up there was no WAY I would spend so much money on stuff that wasn't purple. I was nine and I got to help with the liquidation sale. I was so mad at everyone, the other kids' moms, my parents' friends. How could they come in here and buy all these towels for 90% off when they knew if they had spent the full price my nana could have kept her store.

Stupid consumerism. The way I love purple hurts me sometimes, you know, as a consumer. It's just the feeling I get when I see it. It doesn't feel like greed, but there is some deep attraction, I have to walk over to it. It pulls me.

It got pretty bad today. Brigid and I were in Marshall Field's in the part where there are lots of shoes and handbags. Purple was representing everywhere. I said, "this one matches my skirt." It was a leather handle on a woolen type pouch. She said, "Brown, there is such a thing as too much purple." She said since I only wear purple and black that it might be good to wear another color with it, like silver, or white, or pink. The bag she was holding up was white leather with a giantic silver buckle. Gross.

I don't care what anyone thinks, it makes me happy to love something the way I love purple. It's always passionate and special. To me at least.

I didn't buy anything today. I don't buy stuff any more because I have too much stuff already. I put a dress on hold though... for the wedding. It's silk and shiny and the color of wine. Purple wine.

<(:D