Big Life

I just finished writing a cover letter for a job that I am completely qualified for, yet seems so far out of reach. I’ve been trying to talk myself out of even trying to apply for this job, even though it’s the one I’ve been working towards for the last 15 years. Man, I would love to be able to tell someone that in an interview. The mere thought makes me sick, as does picturing myself actually working in the position. There’s a weird combination of embarrassment and fear that holds me back, keeps me from having the Big Life that I want.

We all deserve the Big Life. Why do we try to talk ourselves out of it? We are among so much resource. It’s all out there for us. Find your dream, set the goal, get it done. You might take three steps back to take ten steps forward, but that never means you can’t make it happen. I’ve been listening to complaints much more carefully since my recent shift in credentials. There are apparently a lot of people around me that are unhappy with their lives. A simple “what’s wrong?” yields interesting results. It only takes a few minutes of whyning to uncover the reality – what’s missing.

Why? Why? Whyyyyyithuuuurts! As much pleasure as I can possibly take in doing it, I must concede that whyning gets you nowhere. What do you want to be doing that you’re not doing? What is it? How? Sometimes we have to decide, despite the urges, to not be like Nancy Kerrigan, to stop asking why and just go for it.

Just another November weekend

The rain...
The traffic...

The concrete jungle...

And the damn pigeons...
(that's Tito by the way, the resident island crocodile)

You Don't Win Friends with Salad, part X

You Don't Take Oaths with Salad

this is, like, tooootally more serious than the Girl Scouts' oath

To remain whole, seem twisted

To remain whole, yield somewhat or seem curved and bent if you may.
To become straight, let yourself look bent.
To become full, seem hollow.
Seem tattered now, that you can be renewed.
Those that have little, can get more,
To have plenty is to be confused.
Therefore the wise man clasps the primal unity, himself testing "everything" under heaven by it.
He does not show himself much, he is therefore luminous and clear.
He does not define himself, therefore he is distinct.
He does not boast, therefore people give him credit: he succeeds by that.
He's never outright proud of his work, and therefore he endures.
Because he does not contend, none in the world can contend with him.
So the old saying "To remain whole, seem twisted!" was no idle word;
For true wholeness can only be won by return to Tao.

-- Translation of ch. 22, Tao de Ching

This was the theme of an amazing yoga class by at Shri Yoga in NYC. To remain whole, seem twisted. Integrate two opposites to find the midline in often underused muscles, revealing the forgotten fullness from within.

:)